One year ago, I was bloated and pregnant, living in a hotel. Resolving that as soon as we could get into our new apartment, I was going to get serious about my my blog. I did. May 30th will be the one year anniversary of brandyglows.com! It’s been a heck of a year. I created three free beautiful books. I gave birth to Brooklyn Corey. I spoke at Children, Youth, And A New Kind Of Christianity (video coming soon)! And, most recently, I softly launched Shalom Sessions.

I am a mad scientist. Experimenting, exploring, refining, probing so I can best work out the benefits of a Shalom Session for you. What is it? Who is it for? What do I do and how will it add value to your life? With the wit and wisdom of my smartypants mentor and amazeballs coach, Michelle Ward, I’ve finally nailed it.

What is it? Brainstorming in its finest form.

Who is it for? Interesting people struggling to figure out what they love or what they’re good at, or both.

What do I do and how will it add value to your life? I help you figure out what your passions and your gifts are and how to combine what you love with what comes easy to you. I’ll show you where they intersect. And I’ll create a Compass with your personal mission statement to give you clarity about the next right step for you.

And, to celebrate my almost one year blog-iversary, this weekend, I’m offering Shalom Sessions at a pay-what-you-can price!

Yep. That means you can edit the amount.

How does it work? Under options on the Shalom Sessions page, click on the session(s) you want. Then, click “add to cart” and you will be taken to the Shopping Cart. You can edit the dollar amount and then click Check Out With PayPal. After that, just follow the PayPal instructions and click the final Submit! You’ll receive an email right after your purchase with the PayPal details. And then, within 24 hours, you’ll get another email from me to set up our session!

Click here to sign up for your very own Shalom Session.

If you’re in short supply of Shalom, I hope this sale will help you dive into more peaceful waters. May you have a beautiful weekend either way.

Love and Shalom,
Brandy

PS. I have 10 spots left in May! This sale will run until Sunday at midnight or until those spots are filled. If you’ve been thinking about taking the shalom-y plunge, this is the weekend to go for it!

PPS. The next edition of brandyglows:unpolished comes out on Monday. Enter your email below if you don’t want to miss it.

I have always known I was adopted. When I was little, my parents would ask, “Brandy, what are you?” I would answer, “I’m adopted and I’m special!”

In part because I’ve always known, I’ve always wanted to look for my birth mom. I used to call her Maria (which is now Sadie’s middle name) and write to her in my journal. I didn’t know this growing up, but shortly after the adoption was finalized, some paperwork got sent to my parents with my biological mom’s name on it. They didn’t keep the papers, but they remembered the name. And since they knew I wanted to look for her, they used that name to track her down for my 18th birthday.

She is amazing. When I graduated college two years ago, I got to celebrate with both my parents and Cathy, my birth mom. Words can’t accurately describe how ridiculously blessed I am. But this poem comes close.

Legacy Of An Adopted Child

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.
Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one,
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.
The first gave you life,
And the second taught you to live it.
And the first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.
One gave you a nationality.
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seeds of talent,
The other gave you aim.
One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.
One gave you up,
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.
And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of?
Neither, my Darling, Neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

I’ve been having a lot of doubts lately. Tomorrow, I’m speaking at conference called Children, Youth, and a New Kind of Christianity. I’m presenting alongside some of my biggest inspirations: Tony Campolo, Brian McLaren, and Jim Wallis. I’m teaching kids’ ministry professionals how to teach their students creative nonviolent conflict resolution. I am beyond nervous to get up on that stage, but I am in love with it, too. What a beautiful opportunity I have!

These past couple of weeks, in between moving across town, launching Shalom Sessions, and preparing for tomorrow, I have felt the need to get really clear about where I want my vision to go.

I can do anything I set my mind to. That’s why it matters so much what I set my mind to.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is happening. 95% of my energies are focused on cooking up this business from scratch. The process is laborious but I know I am on the cusp something delectable. I want to be clear that I’m headed in the right direction.

Am I a businessperson? I’ve always thought social worker. How did I get here? Was it a latent passion or did I wander off the path yet again?

Most of you know that my husband is a soldier and we are counting the years until his contract is up. Our big vision is that I can use this time to build a tasty business and make enough to support us when he gets out. We want to open up a strange little shop, a cafe with rainbow cheesecake, lovely little sandwiches, and t-shirts on the menu. The store will boast free wi-fi and a large assortment of real and electronic books – all free for your reading pleasure. And we want to use part of the profits from the cafe to build a safehouse for people trying to rebuild their lives after surviving atrocities like human trafficking and addiction. All the while, I want to continue to write, speak, and help people find and follow their dreams.

It’s a big vision that combines our unique passions beautifully. I believe in it. This is the kind of great, gorgeous dream that we’ll build with brick and mortar.

Sometimes I think, why wait? Let’s get it started! If it’s so possible, why can’t we do it NOW?

It’s easy for me to forget the value of waiting. Preparation is more than what you can see. My heart is bursting with this dream but it’s still stirring inside of us.

Last week, I held my first Shalom Session. I was so nervous! And the next day, I freaked out. What am I doing? Who am I to show this writer how to follow her dream? Who am I to stand up in front of a group of childrens’ ministry professionals and teach them how to teach their kids? Perhaps I’ve gotten too big for my britches.

I spent the day crying and praying and questioning and nursing my son as well as my self-inflicted wounds. I lamented to my husband. He shook his head, “You always do this.” I dive in to huge adventures and once I actually do grab my goal, I freeze. What in the hell was I thinking?

But it always seems to work. My initial premonition that I can make a difference is usually spot on.

These latest schemes aren’t exceptions. I can help people actualize their dreams. I did it long before I started charging. It’s one of my spiritual gifts. And I do have something to say that will help children, youth, and their teachers in this new kind of Christianity.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read about my dreams. I hope it’s inspired you to consider yours. I know it may feel scary to pay someone  to explore the inner workings of your Big, Blue Sky Mission. But, it’s an amazing investment in yourself and your purpose. Regardless of whether you end up buying one of my sessions, please, don’t give up on your dream. You are here for a reason. Your dream is an essential part of that. Find a way to make it happen.

Dear Brandy,

The thing I love about you is that you’re not afraid to sing (loudly (and off-key)) Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows. Keep singing your song. Keep your softness, your innocence for as long as you can. I know you see it as a weakness, a failure on your part to know about life. But you’ll learn about life soon enough.

I know I can’t talk you out of the mistakes you’re about to make. Anyway, I might not, even if I could. You learn so much in the process of straying from yourself. You’re a better person for it. Your kindness is genuine now. I’m sorry. Your mom is right. I know you don’t realize how selfish you are. Try. Because the world needs your gifts and you can’t give them when all of your energies are focused on getting what you want.

And that boy you want. Oh honey, let him go! Let him lie about boot camp and those other girls. Your friends are right. They are 100% spot on. You’re going to look back and cringe that you ever had feelings for him. Seriously! He grows up to be gross. Sure, he’s a charmer. But he makes you feel stupid. You deserve so much better.

You’re about to have a daughter! Sooner than you think. Sooner, maybe, than you should. But, she will save you. And you will save her.

Be nicer to your parents. Stop lying to them. I know, parents just don’t understand, right? But they turn out to be pretty reasonable. I mean, they’re still crazy Bradfordians. But they are the best grandparents in the world. They support your dreams – even when they don’t get them. And they will always be there for you. No. Matter. What.

Your life is not as hard as you think it is. But it’s about to be. For now, leave the drama on stage and just enjoy high school.

I don’t mean to scare you with all this. And, it gets much much better. Someday, you’ll meet a sweet, smart, sarcastic boy that will knock your socks off. He’ll think your feet are hot. Go with it.

Writing and performing will always be your favorite things. Don’t worry that you’ll never be able to keep a “real job”. Someday, you’ll work for yourself – doing what you love!

The friend that said you guys probably won’t keep in touch after you move is right. But, the one that said she would write all the time, and that you sure as hell better right her back, actually does! Twelve years later, Andrea is still your best friend. Don’t worry, some crazy new technology is about to take off. You won’t have to rely on snail mail and expensive long distance phone calls for very much longer. But you should probably sign up for an email account.

Be a good aunt. That niece of yours is going to grow up before you know it. And you’re going to have a nephew, too! Make it to as many of their birthday parties as humanly possible. And call your brother. He gets busy. He forgets. But you’re going to regret not being closer to him and Kim.

You are about to meet your birth mom! And, you have a little brother! He looks just like you, in nerd boy form. As for Cathy, well, that’s where you get your strength.

You’re about to go through some really tough stuff. But you’re a writer. When you put your stories on the page, something magic happens. Ultimately, Brandy, writing will save you. You’ll write little prayers begging for help for years about the same stubborn addictions and patterns. And it’ll seem like God is so far away, but God is closer than you think.  And your prayers will be answered.

I wish I could tell you more, but I’m only 30. And honestly, I don’t know anything yet.

Love,

you

So now, I’ve got about month make the money or I’ll have to sell the ticket. Too easy, right?

I talk a lot about the mistakes I’ve made on this blog. One of the reasons I do that is because of the beautiful lessons I’ve learned. I am a natural dreamer. And that tendency has led me down a lot of crazy paths (like this one). But I wasn’t raised to dream big. My parents are realists who taught me to work hard and be seriously practical. And I thank God they did. Starting a business is an incredible exercise in combining dreams with nuts and bolts.

So I’ve developed some seriously practical ideas for making this dream come true. But before I get to that, I’d like to share why this trip is so important to me.

In my mini-memoir, I shared how I heard about Rob Bell and how much his sermons and books mean to me.

I’ve seen him speak twice. I’ve read every book he’s written. I’ve watched every Nooma video. When he was still at Mars Hill, I listened to his sermons on the regular. When he taught a class at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, I bought all three books on his syllabus. I couldn’t attend Poets, Prophets, and Preachers, but I bought the DVDs the day they came out.

Okay, I’ll stop here because I’m starting to sound a bit stalkeresque. I swear I’m not crazy (and I only have eyes for my husband), but Rob Bell says things like:

“The point of the cross isn’t forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to something much bigger: restoration. God isn’t just interested in the covering over of our sins: God wants to make us into the people we were originally created to be . . . This restoration is why Jesus always orients his message around becoming the kind of people who are generous and loving and compassionate. The goal here isn’t simply not to sin. Our purpose is to increase the shalom in this world, which is why approaches to the Christian faith that deal solely with not sinning always fail. They aim at the wrong thing. It is not about what you don’t do. The point is becoming more and more the kind of people God had in mind when we were first created.” +Rob Bell in Velvet Elvis

Ahem, sound familiar?

At the conference, we’ll talk about art and criticism and doubts and shalom. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I want to be a part of this discussion.

And so, I’ve committed to try. There are a couple of ways I am going to do that.

First, I’m going to nix my latte habit and get creative with my groceries.

Second, I’m going to clean out my closet. And my living room. And the baby stuff . And the not-big-enough big kid clothes. Oh, Ebay, here I come!

Third, I launched Shalom Sessions last week. Now it’s time to put them out into the world.

Last (and definitely least), if nothing’s cooking by mid-May, I’m going back into the cleaning biz. Temporarily, at least.

So, do you want to help me? Do ya? Do ya?

Thank you veryveryveryvery much! There are a couple of ways you can do that:

1. You can buy a Shalom Session for yourself! Win/win for both of us! It’ll be fireworks and love at first Skype.

2. You can tell everyone you know about my shalom-y offerings. In an email, on Facebook. You can pin it too!  And, here’s the tweetable (just copy and paste):

@brandyglows is now offering Shalom Sessions http://www.brandyglows.com/shalom-sessions/ You can change your life in an hour.

Shalom Sessions via @brandyglows http://www.brandyglows.com/shalom-sessions/ Her gift is dreaming big . . . for you.

3. You could pray for me. And Jermaine. And Rob Bell. We would be honored if you did.

Thank you for the amazing support you’ve given me already throughout this journey. I’m intensely grateful for this group of loyal friends and co-connivers. Thank you for dreaming big with me.

Ooh, and my burning question for you? If you could spend two days with anyone, discussing your favorite subjects, who would it be?

Fight or flight. Draw the first punch or nurse your wounds. You can’t make an omelette without cracking a few eggs. For centuries, it’s been ingrained in our psyches that we only have two options.

Not true.

The common denominator between all great visionaries is their ability to seek out and execute creative nonviolence in the face of oppression. Instead of striking back or submitting passively, they choose a third way. And the big secret is: it’s something we all can do. And, if we do, we can change the status quo. Exploring the creative, nonviolent alternative is a viable way to save the world.

But, like all worthwhile endeavors, it’s not without risk. And it is much easier said than done. We’ve been so conditioned to believe that we only have two options, if we hope to hatch a plan to practice the third way and be the change-makers we were created to be, we’ve got to listen to the stories of the people who have come before us. We have to pass them along and make a commitment to look for creative subversion regularly.

To help with us that, I’m starting a series today on the third way. For the next three weeks, I’ll share a story and dive a little deeper into what it all means. I spoke on this topic at Turning Point Church a couple of years ago. In a few weeks, I’ll be speaking at Children, Youth and a New Kind of Christianity on how to teach kids the third way. And, there’s a super awesome secret project in the works that’s third-way-centric. I am wildly passionate about this stuff. It’s quickly becoming obvious to me that it’s one of the best tools we have in our shalom restoration kit.

The First Story

There is a hospital in Saskatchewan where the doctors were constantly harassing the nurses. Pressing them to feel inferior and correcting them in front of patients. One day, the nurses decided enough was enough. They found an administrator willing to help them and set up a “Pink Alert” system to be transmitted over the intercom whenever a doctor attempted to abuse a nurse. When the call went out, all the available nurses in the hospital rushed to the room where the doctor was. They held hands and formed a circle around him, waiting for him to make his first move. He charged at the smallest nurse, but, like a great game of Red Rover, the circle merely flexed with him. He aimed himself toward another weak spot but got the same result. He tried several more times, still no luck. Eventually, he admitted defeat. And the story spread all over the hospital. Almost immediately, the doctors had to change their ways. Because the Pink Alert could be signaled at any moment. [from Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way by Walter Wink]

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Can you think of a time when you sought out a creative third way? Please share in the comments below! Excited about this new series? Sign up for brandyglows:unpolished and you won’t miss a thing.

If you feel compelled to discover what the third way could mean for you, and how it might help unscramble the messy, uncomfortable parts in your life, I’m offering a new service called the Shalom Sessions that might be just what the doctor ordered.

Last week, I wrote a love letter to the co-connivers. In it, I asked them for their miracles:

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The next day, I got this response:

Hey Bran,

We have a miracle. It happened 29 years ago this past March. We had one child, a boy. We had been trying to have another child for years, with no luck, so we decided to try adoption. It did not matter that it was someone else’s child, we had enough love to give. Although we did not know it would take so very long, seven and a half years later, I received a call. Our son was 14-years-old, and the baby’s room had been ready for five years.

It was all in pink, of course. A white crib with pink sheets and a light pink blanket. The dresser had a light with a pink and white bunny on it. There was a dressing table and a hanging planter that also was pink with a stuffed bunny in it. We had to go by the room every time we went to bed. But I knew in my heart that some day it would be filled with joy.

I prayed every night asking God to send her to us. God had his own plan, and she would come to us in his own way. Prayer is a powerful thing. There are all kinds of miracles around us that we do not even think about. Life is one of the greatest, along with Love. I thank God every day that I am alive, and for my family.

Love you,

Mom

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I chatted about this deep love and the years my mom had to wait for a child with Shauntelle Hamlett of Being is a Verb a couple of weeks ago. I shared the story my adoption and some of the lies I told myself growing up. Click here if you’d like to listen to that podcast.

If you want to read more miracles and excerpts from my upcoming memoir, sweet!

There were nine contestants total. Everyone was assigned a number. The folks that secured more than one entry got more than one number. Pretty clever, right?

1 – Kimberly

2-10 – Holly

11-19 – Jess

20-25 – Erin

26-32 – Rae

33-38 – Paula

39-47 – Andrea

48 – Cynthia

49 – Tiffani

And, without further ado . . . the winner is (if you can’t see this video, it may help to refresh your browser):

Yay for her! An email dishing out this good news is on its way. Happy night!

What are the Shalom Sessions?

The Shalom Sessions are designed to be a focused period of brainstorming, meditation, and discovery with an emphasis on finding and pursuing our real passions. They’re about a brand new lease on life. They’re for people with an itch. They’re for folks that know there is more out there for them than what they’re experiencing now. Or, the ones who’ve nailed down exactly what it is they’re supposed to be doing and all they need now is a plan to get them there.

They’re for dreamers, doers, and practical radicals. For artists, wanna-be creatives, and people who have been pushed to the fringes of faith.

They’re for right-brainers, left-brainers, the central-brainers. For brassy women and kind-hearted men. For people who’ve read my story and feel ready to write their own.

What are they not?

Shalom Sessions are not psychotherapy, and they should not be a substitute for medical treatment. If you are in the midst of active intense grief or depression, these sessions aren’t designed to take the place of those things. However, if you’re already on the path to recovery, and can’t figure out how to get back to living, Shalom Sessions might provide helpful tools to plot your course.

What if I really want to hire you, but I can’t afford it right now?

Email me, let’s have a conversation. If this is something you’re supposed to do, we’ll find a way to make it happen.

What is your refund policy?

Chris Guillebeau offers a 100% “Effectiveness + Satisfaction” Guarantee for his Unconventional Guides. I’m kind of smitten with him and his work. And I think his policy is the bee’s knees. So, I’ve decided to follow his lead. If you put in the time and you’re not completely in love with the work we do, let me know within 30 days of your last session, and I’ll give you a 100% refund.

It’s important to me that your Shalom Sessions add value to your life. It’s what this is all about.

Because if that’s the case, then despair is the only reasonable response.

Resurrection says that what we do with our life matters.

Everything matters.

Jesus’ friends arrive at the tomb and they’re told,

“He isn’t here!”

Well, you didn’t see that coming, did you?